Like Ships In The Night
by KnifeInTheCrayonBox
Summary: Emma has always bottled up her emotions to keep them from getting the best of her, but when a trap set by Pan releases all the demons she keeps inside, she learns that sometimes you have to trust people and stop pushing them away. "It's just you and me trying to find the light, like ships in the night." Hook/Emma. One-shot.


I couldn't block out the cries.

Every night we've been in Neverland, I heard children crying. When I'd wake up in the middle of the night to the gut-wrenching sounds I'd look around the campsite and wonder why it didn't wake the others up. Seriously, how could they just sleep through something like that? Didn't they hear it?

I grabbed the sides of my makeshift pillow, yanked it out from under my head and pulled it down over my ears. My face was now pressed against the dirt, but I didn't care. I couldn't bear to hear another sound. The pillow muffled some of the sound, but I could still hear them. The loneliness; the pain; the abandonment. I knew those feelings all too well.

With an irritated cry of my own I threw the pillow away and shot up. I leaned forward, drew my knees to my chest and held my hands over my ears. It reminded me of the times I curled up into a ball on my bed at night, put my hands over my ears, and tried to block out the noise of my foster parents screaming at each other until the early hours of the morning.

"You hear it too?" I heard an almost inaudible voice ask. For a split second I thought it was Peter Pan again, so I reached for the dagger I kept near my makeshift bed. I grabbed the hilt and turned, only to relax when I saw Hook sitting against a tree. It was then that I noticed another noise.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

I looked down to see a sword balanced on Hook's knees, his hook holding the sword steady by it's hilt, and his hand sharpening it with a stone. My eyes glanced over at the others: Mary Margaret, David, Regina, Tinker Bell—they were all asleep.

"Why can't they hear it?"

I looked back at Hook to see him frown. "They say only those who were abandoned as children can hear the cries of the Lost Boys at night."

_Chink. Chink. Chi—_

Suddenly Hook stopped and looked up at me.

"That's it, isn't it? Who you really are—an orphan."

I frowned and looked away, ignoring his statement. The sharpening sounds started again. It was starting to grate on my nerves.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

"Just out of curiosity, how did you finally admit it?"

"That's none of your business," I said quietly. I knew I wasn't being fair here. After all, Hook did take us here, keep us alive this long, and help us figure out a plan to save Henry. I don't think he's even talked to Henry before. He didn't have to do any of that, but he did. Just like when he came back…but that didn't mean I wanted to open up about myself. This was about Henry, not me. Only finding my son mattered right now.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

_I swear, I'm going to snatch that stone from his hand and hit him over the head with it_, I thought to myself, but before I could carry out my plan, he spoke again.

"I wasn't lying when I said I'd like to know who you are." The sounds stopped again, and he looked me in the eyes. "And I wasn't lying when I said I fancy you. You know, when you're not yelling at me." When I looked into his eyes and saw that same sincerity I saw earlier, a spark of panic shot though my mind. I felt that natural instinct to let that mask of indifference slip over my face. I'd done it a thousand times before when someone tries to get too close.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

"You said you could hear the cries too," I said, changing the subject.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

"Yes. I've been abandoned too, Swan."

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

"What happened?" I asked. I just wanted to get the attention off of me and onto something else.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

Hook looked up and gave me a coy smile. "I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours."

"Can we just focus on getting Henry? That's the only thing we need to focus on," I said, trying to change the subject once again. I pulled the map out and looked at it for what felt like the millionth time. Hook said Pan liked to play games, but it made no sense for him to go through all that trouble to find Henry, only to give me the answer to saving him. Something was off about this whole thing, and just yesterday we'd found the catch—it showed us where Henry was, alright, but what good did that do us if he kept moving all around the island? We could end up on a wild goose chase for days, maybe weeks. We had Tinker Bell, who could help us get in, but we'd have to find the camp first, and that was proving to be a problem.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

"Are you sure we're headed in the right direction?" I asked, looking for our location on the map.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

I eyed the sword on Hook's lap suspiciously. Wasn't that thing sharp enough? The noise was _really_ starting to get on my nerves.

"I know Neverland like the back of my hook, love."

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

I ground my teeth and tried to ignore the sound, instead concentrating on the map, trying to pinpoint exactly where we were. Suddenly, something moved on the map. My eyes moved up to the red X that marked Pan's location, but it had disappeared. Then, as quickly as it had vanished, it reappeared on the other side of the island.

"What the…? He just changed the location again!" I cried, turning the map around and pointing to the new location. Hook didn't pause from sharpening his sword, but peered at the map. He let out a frustrated breath.

"It's one of his games."

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

"Well how are we supposed to use Tinker Bell to get in if he keeps changing his location?!" I nearly yelled.

"Just a suggestion, but if you want to yell at me, you might want to go somewhere more private. Unless, of course, you _want_ to wake everyone up," he said, gesturing towards the other sleeping people.

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

I let out a frustrated sigh and stood up, walking away from the campsite. I needed a break, a breath of fresh air, and most importantly, some time away from everyone. It seemed like I was the only one who was trying to get everyone to cooperate, but even I was starting to get annoyed by my comrades—Mary Margaret and David included.

Now that Hook's annoying sharpening sounds were left behind, the crying of the children got louder. I was about to bring my hands up to my ears, when I heard another sound. Footsteps following behind me. Hook.

"Why are you following me?" I snapped, spinning around to face him. His eyebrows shot up.

"I thought we were going somewhere to talk privately," he said, and then that annoying smirk of his crossed his lips. "Unless you'd like to do other things."

"I need time to think."

I turned and walked away, hoping that he wouldn't follow me. I knew it probably wasn't the best idea for me to go wandering away from the others when danger lurked in every corner, but I needed a few minutes to myself. When I heard the crunch of boots through the forest behind me, I knew I wasn't going to get them, but kept walking.

Suddenly I felt a wave of despair come over me, like a tidal wave washing over my head. It almost knocked the breath out of me, and made me stagger back. I felt a hand catch my elbow and then steady me. I muttered a 'thanks' as I pulled my arm away from Hook's grasp. I needed to sit down. There was a medium sized rock up ahead, so I stumbled over and sat down. The sounds of the lost boys seemed to fade in the background, and my head and body felt heavier than before; at least the sound was somewhat muffled. Hook followed right in my heels, sitting down opposite of me.

Now that I was sitting down thinking, I felt all those doubts that I'd pushed out of my mind come back to me. Hitting me, bombarding me, no matter how I tried to press them back down. Questions I didn't even want to think about appeared in my mind: What if Pan meant what he said about Henry hating me for abandoning him when he was a baby? Will Pan really kill my parents? What if it was all just a mind game Pan was playing and we never find Henry?

Hook seemed to sense my thoughts, or recognize the look on my face, because he tried to calm my fears. "Don't worry, Swan. We'll find your boy."

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

Oh great, there it goes again.

"How?"

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

"You just have to take a leap of faith, Swan. If he didn't want you to find Henry, he wouldn't have given you that map in the first place. We just have to stop playing his games and use it to our advantage."

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

Hook had just potentially given me the answer to my latest problem, but my eyes stayed trained on that sword and stone rubbing together. It was all I could hear. It shouldn't bother me so much, but it was driving me insane!

_Chink. Chink. Chink._

"Swan, did you hear me—"

I leaned over and snatched the sword and stone from his hand, casting the sword into the dirt and throwing the stone as far as I could.

"Would you _stop_ that?" I cried, standing up. Hook stood up, his attention no longer on the sword that was now lying in the dirt. A smirk crossed his lips.

"If you wanted me to stare at you, love, all you had to do was ask."

He took a step forward, and instinctively, I took one back.

"What are you so afraid of?" he asked, giving me a smirk and taking another step forward. I shot him a glare and took two steps back.

"We don't need any distractions. We need to find Henry before Peter Pan does something to him, or one of us gets killed!"

"You're over thinking things, love. If we're to have any hope in rescuing your boy you need to calm down and think rationally."

"I need to focus on finding Henry, I don't have time to relax! We don't even have a plan on how to get into his moving camp! What good is having Tinker Bell here if we can't get into the camp!" I nearly yelled at him.

An angry expression crossed his face. "I told you we'd find your boy, and we will. Don't you trust me?"

"No, and I don't need to. I've been abandoned enough times to know that I can't trust anyone. We _just_ have to work together to find Henry."

Hook frowned. "I've been abandoned too. I've never known my mother, and my father abandoned me when I was little, but I don't distrust everyone because of it."

"It wasn't just my parents, it was everyone in my life. First my parents, then my foster parents when I turned eighteen and they kicked me out of the house, then Neal, then Graham, and then August," I paused to take a ragged breath, "so you'll excuse me if I can't trust anyone after all that." I wondered where all this was coming from. A few minutes ago, I wouldn't have told Hook a word of this, but now it just seemed to spill from my mouth.

"I'm sorry," Hook said, looking sincere, and it scared me.

"And then you abandoned me! First in Rumplestiltskin's cell, and then again on your ship with the bean," I snapped.

"And you abandoned me on that beanstalk!" he shot back, frowning. "Besides, _I_ came back. I'd only been gone for five minutes before I realized I couldn't abandon you again. You made me realize I could care about someone other than myself!"

Then I did something the real Emma Swan hardly ever did—I started crying. The annoying part was, I didn't even know _why_ I was crying. I just felt so…helpless, and it got to me because Emma Swan was stronger than that. All those feelings I'd buried in the past—all the hurt from people abandoning me, all the fears and frustration I'd accumulated on this journey through Neverland—it was all coming out.

I was experiencing the same emotions I felt when I was in the Foster Care System. I knew what it was like to have nothing, to know that no one cares about you, and feel like no one ever will. And right now Pan was probably telling Henry that I've abandoned him and didn't care about him. I didn't want him to have to know the emotions I've felt for the past 28 years of my life.

I looked up at Hook to see him staring at me with a shocked look on his face, like he was wondering where all this came from. Then his gaze swept past me, and I saw a look of horror light up his eyes.

"We need to get out of here," he said quickly. He walked over to his sword and put it back in his sheath, while I took the opportunity to look behind me. There was nothing there but the bamboo. In fact, there was bamboo all around us. How had I not realized that? Suddenly Hook grabbed my hand and tried to pull me away.

"No, we can't leave! We have to find Henry first!" I cried.

"Not out of Neverland, just out of this!" he said, gesturing towards all the bamboo, but I didn't want to leave. It was quiet in here, and I felt the need to stay in this place. I felt so emotionally drained, so tired from all the guilt, hurt, and other strong emotions that swept over me.

"I want to stay here for a few more minutes," I said, pulling my hand away.

"Swan, this—"

"You don't tell me what to do, Hook," I interrupted. "I'm _tired_, so if I want to sit here for a few more minutes and rest, then—"

I didn't get to finish my sentence. Before I could Hook's hand shot forward, grabbed the back of my head, and pulled me forward. His lips crashed into mine, and I felt my mind go blank with shock. All the doubts and fears that had weighed me down until it felt like a rock pressing down on my chest seemed to vanish in an instant. The only thought that crossed my mind was how warm his lips felt against my cold ones. Before I could even react or get angry at him he pulled away and grabbed my hand.

"Come on."

I was still so confused and shocked that I let him lead me away from the bamboo. When we were a good distance away my mind finally came back to me and I pulled my hand out of his grasp. He turned around to face me.

"What was that back there?" I demanded, glaring at him.

"It was a kiss."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why did you kiss me?"

"Do you know what that was back there? That place you were sitting in the middle of?" he asked, nodding towards it. I turned and glanced at it.

"Bamboo?" Before, I had been sure, but now that I think about it, what have I seen in Neverland that's _normal_? Somehow I wouldn't be surprised if it's not bamboo. "I'm guessing it's not."

"It's called Sensus Wood. When a person gets close enough, it heightens their emotions, and uses their deepest fears and doubts to assault their mind, until they go insane. It's a nasty plant that Pan invented to stop any adult that manages to get into Neverland. It doesn't work on children, since they tend not to worry as much."

That explained why I was acting so strangely, even by my own definitions. Now that I wasn't in the grasp of that plant, I felt like my mind had been violated, and my deepest secrets had been revealed. I felt vulnerable in Hook's presence, and I hated it.

"That still doesn't explain why you kissed me," I said coldly.

"Ah, yes. Pan forgot that a plant like that would have a weakness, because it's something that a child would never think of. There's only one thing that can make an adult stop worrying about things." Hook took a step forward and moved a strand of hair away from my face. "Can you guess what it is, love?"

"You kissed me as a distraction," I said, moving away from him. Hook chuckled at my reaction.

"Yes. I wasn't sure it would work, but I figured it was worth a try. I've got to say, Swan, I think I always knew that you wanted me."

I scoffed. "And what makes you think I do?"

"Well, for one, it wouldn't have worked if you didn't." He gave me another one of those annoying smirks that made me want to smack him, but I had to admit, maybe he was right. Maybe there was a tiny piece of me that found him a little attractive. Maybe.

"I don't have time for this. We have to get back to the camp and work out a plan," I said, pushing past Hook.

He grabbed my arm and turned me around. "Love, you can't keep pushing people away."

"I'm not. I'm just trying to focus on the only thing that matters right now."

"Then be honest with me," he said, stepping in front of me. I struggled to look him in the eyes, but I managed to maintain eye contact.

"I am being honest, I'm not in love with y—" I started to protest, but then Hook took another step closer. He was standing only inches away from me, his breath ghosting over my face. I couldn't help my natural reaction, which was to falter in my words. My sentence trailed off and my mind went blank for a moment, just like it did when he kissed me in the woods. Hook let out a chuckle when he saw the effect he had on me.

"Just keep telling yourself that, darling," he said. I turned and started to walk away. "Oh, and Emma?" I was so surprised that he called my by my first name—not 'Swan', or 'love', or even 'darling'—that I turned around. "I won't leave you."

I wanted to shut down and just walk away like I've always done, but something inside me forced the words out of my mouth. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

Hook gave me a genuine smile. "I'm counting on it."

* * *

**I've been working on this for a couple weeks now, and it would have been out a lot sooner, but I got writer's block. Just so everyone knows, this is set after episode 3, but before episode 4, sort of like a 'deleted scene', I guess. I don't know what they call these kinds of stories. And for those wondering, the quote in the summary and the title is a reference to the song _Ship In The Night_, by Mat Kearney.**

**Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed it! :)**


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